God Give Me Converts or I De

April 28, 2015

I had the chance of hanging out with a friend today, and found myself saying this as I was driving home. This is a snippet from the sermon "Conversions Desired" preached by Charles Spurgeon in 1876. The paragraph in which it is contained states:

"The Holy Spirit will move them by first moving you. If you can rest without their being saved, they will rest too. But if you are filled with an agony for them, if you cannot bear that they should be lost, you will soon find that they are uneasy too. I hope you will get into such a state that you will dream about your child or your hearer perishing for lack of Christ, and start up at once and begin to cry, 'God, give me converts or I die.' Then you will have converts."

How many of us are actually in agony over those who are going to hell? For the first time in a long time (I'm ashamed to admit) I feel exactly what this passage is describing. As I was hanging out with my friend today, the Holy Spirit was really pressing upon my heart to share the Gospel with this person. Now I had already shared it once before, but I thought I'd give it another go. Needless to say it fell upon deaf ears, and the silence that followed had me screaming inside "God, open their eyes!". We then went our separate ways, my friend went home still dead in sin and heading for hell, and I left, literally weeping as I drove home. And that is when the quote "God, give me converts or I die!" came to mind. Because that is exactly how I felt, and do feel now.

If it were to cost me my life for this person to believe, I would do it. And I don't mean that as a cliché. Driving home tonight I thought to myself "Do I really mean it when I say 'God give me converts, or I die'?.. If I were to get into a car accident right now and die, but my friend would somehow believe because of it, am I ready?" Yes! Gladly. It was this that prompted me to actually look up Spurgeon's sermon when I got home, as all I knew was the quote from it. When I actually read the entire passage above it showed what was on my heart perfectly. Even as I am writing this I am still heartbroken, my soul is shaken, and I am filled with agony for them. It made me come to the realization; How can we as believers actually sleep in contentment knowing the world is going to hell? I don't know.

I came home today feeling as if I had failed. I kept wondering "What makes it so hard to believe? It's either hell, or free eternal life?" One would think the decision would be easy. Another quote from Spurgeon's sermon states "It is shocking to reflect that a change in weather has more effect on some men's lives than the dread alternative of heaven or hell." This is so true! The only response I could get out of my friend was "I don't know, I don't think about it [the state of their soul] much." How could they be more concerned about making it to a store on the way home before it closes than their own soul!? But the enemy of their soul has blinded their eyes. And I pray to God one day they see the light.

I know it isn't our job to save people. Christ already did that on the cross. All we must do is present it, which I did. I always feel weird asking for prayer when it comes to someone's salvation, because we can't pray people into heaven. I guess all we can do is pray that the Holy Spirit will somehow open their eyes, and that is what I ask from all of you. But even then the choice is up to them. I will rest uneasy tonight. God bless.

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