Desire:Is It Sinful?

May 29, 2013

There I questions I ask myself, and God, that I still ponder quite often. I recently read a blog from a friend on discontentment and it got me thinking how I myself am not content. I am perfectly content in life concerning friends, job, where I live, finances, etc., but the one thing I can never seem to be content with is well, singleness. Over and over again it is said that God is more than enough for us, and yes that is true, but even in the most healthy times of my spiritual walk I still desire to have a wife and a family. Is this wrong? Even though I have Jesus, to desire another lover? To have that desire be more than Him, yes that is wrong, but is it okay to not be content with the single life, even though Jesus is supposed to be more than enough?

I look back at the beginning when God created Adam, when everything was by His original design and how He intended everything to be. Adam was in the beginning sinless, a perfect man. He walked with God in the garden, had the most perfect relationship with God than any mortal man has ever had because it was the way God intended it to be...but even Adam, in His perfect relationship with God, desired a wife. And God Himself said "It is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). It was because of Adam's loneliness that God created Eve, to be a helper to him. But how could Adam be alone if he was in perfect fellowship with God? And if it wasn't good for a perfect man to be alone and God saw his need for a wife, how much more is that need to be met in sinful men? That is why it is said "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." and that she is "more precious than rubies." (Proverbs 18:22, 31:10).

Is this desire I have God given, or is it unfruitful because it shows my discontentment with having just God? What about Adam and his desire? Well God is omnipotent, He knows everything past, future and present. Did God purposefully create Adam alone to spark in him a desire for a wife so that when God provided her, Adam would value her more? I think so. Adam wasn't complete yet, because man and wife are one. God wasn't finished with Adam, yet he allowed Adam some time alone on the earth to realize he needed someone other than God to meet his earthly desire, then God provided for that desire. Ultimately speaking, God was still filling every part of Adam's heart. God intentionally created Adam with a wife shaped hole in His heart that was provided by Him, so in the end, God is still the one filling that hole. Now as fallen sinful men our hearts are completely broken and we are looking for anything to fill it, be it materials, money, and yes, a wife (or husband... don't want this entire blog to be one sided). But material possessions are hardly ever a desire put into us from God, we just want it because we want it. But a spouse? Well that is the one earthly, discernible and tangible desire I can think of that could very well be from God.

Basically what I am getting at is, is it still wrong to be discontent and want something more, or someone rather, other than God? Because we are fallen men now, our original design is marred, which means all of our desires, passions, and our very nature is broken. So have things changed? We are the bride of Christ now yes, but He still allows and wills earthly spousal relationships. Is that desire still God given as it was in the beginning, even though everything else from the beginning has been skewed? I ask because I do not know. I desire a wife and a family very much, but many would tell me to just be content with Jesus and she will eventually come. Well what if she doesn't? There are probably countless people in history, perhaps godly people even, who have desired spouses and died before they ever got a chance. So where is the line drawn? Is it sin for me to not be content now, even though it wasn't for Adam? I do not know, that is why I ask these questions, but it is time I wrapped this up.

To be clear, I am not miserable and hating my life because I am single, I am just simply not content with being single, I believe there is a difference. I still have the joy of the Lord and love Him more than anything, but I am still not content with singleness, and all I ask is, is it wrong? What are your thoughts?

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